38 Weeks

IT'S NOVEMBER!  BABY KOCH'S BIRTH MONTH!

How far along? 38 Weeks! Baby Koch is as big as a pumpkin!  This is way too fun for me because he was exactly that big on Halloween!  So what's a neurotic pregnant lady to do with this information?  Paint her stomach of course!

Well technically I enlisted Daniel's help to paint my stomach because I couldn't reach the bottom of my belly.  I applied the orange paint (to a degree) and the rest is Daniel's masterpiece. (Pay not attention to my blinding skin and crazy pregnant lady hair)

(Also, my pale skin apparently absorbs all the pigment of the paint and it still looked like my stomach was painted even with the paint off.  I had to get Dan to help me get all the pigment off because I had my baby appt the next day and didn't want the doctor to think that the orange and black pigment on my abdomen was anything other than Halloween paint.  She had a good laugh at my expense when I told her how I prepared for the doctor's appt.[The paint was safe, non-toxic, regular body paint by the way...for those freaking out that I could have dyed my kid colors])

Total weight gain/loss: 35 pounds.  Whoops!  Someone hit the Halloween candy...and hit it hard.  And that someone is me.  Starting to feel like a huge heifer.  These large scale numbers are terrifying.

My kiddos and me in their Halloween costumes.  They were Dan and my only trick-or-treaters of the night (so I made sure to load them up on all the Halloween candy I bought).  This is them at the end of their long night of trick-or-treating...at the tail end of their sugar buzzes and ready for sleep.

Maternity clothes? So I finally decided that it was time to go and get those dreaded nursing bras.  My experience was not pleasant.  There aren't very many stores that carry a wide variety of nursing bras I found out so I'll narrow my story to just the last two stores I went to.  After no luck at a few stores around Champaign, I decided to bite the bullet and go to a store that "specialized" in bras for women. I was hoping to avoid this because specialized stores means "specialized" prices. UGH!  I'm not against spending good money for items that will last me a long time, but I'd just rather save some money for future diaper-related expenses and put more money to my milk and cheese budget (I go through a ridiculous amount of milk and cheese each month...it's not even funny).  So I went to the store, got measured, and started trying on bras.  First off, my boobs are now clown-sized...or as I refer to them as porn-star sized boobs...and I was reminded that I'll be needing bras that will allow for engorgement when my milk comes in. UGH!  Well I tried on literally every nursing bra they had in that store and I just wasn't happy.  For a store that specialized in bras, nothing was fitting me correctly.  Everything was making my boobs look horrible.  Call me crazy, but I think boobs should look like boobs.  I hated every bra because they made my ladies look either rectangular, Madonna-cone-shaped, saggy lumps (THE WORST!), uni-boob, or they made me nip-out.  I don't want to nip-out now, especially because things are going to get more prominent once I start breast-feeding.  Needless to say, I left the store crying.

I finally went back to Motherhood Maternity in hopes that they might be able to help me find a bra or two.  I got remeasured there and thus began my 2-hour try-on adventure.  I counted.  I literally tried on a minimum of 36 different bras (that doesn't include bras that are the same style just different sizes).  Some of these bras weren't hideous and actually made my boobs look like boobs.  Thank God!  

(Also, even though it's no longer October, everyone out there, we need to save second base so let's all do our parts to make sure that we are creating lots of awareness to breast cancer screening and research.  Ladies, always do self-breast exams and make sure to get your mammograms.  Let's save second base)  

I finally left the store with 6 bras in tote.  Success!  I hate shopping so much, even more now.  Plus my boobs were exhausted from an afternoon of being pushed, poked, prodded, squeezed, etc.  I never want that experience again.  The nice ladies who helped me out probably don't ever want to see me again because I was such a pain.  But the good news is that I finally found practical, affordable, and non-hideous nursing bras...minus the sleep bras.  Those things are hideous but there was no way around that.

Stretch marks? No. I thought I found one on my lower back the other day but it was just a mark from my pants.  Phew!

Sleep:  Just so much sadness is associated with me trying to get a good night's sleep.  I can't even fake feeling refreshed in the morning.  Trying to get a good night's sleep is just miserable.  And I know this isn't easy on Dan either, which makes it suck even more.  I'm sorry Dan.  Maybe someday soon we'll get some good sleep...probably not...but here's to hoping that we do.

Best moment this week: Lounging and nesting with Daniel.  I love nothing more than being a bum with my hubby especially on the weekend.  This past weekend was just that.  Bumming it, food, nesting, movies, and football.  That's about it.  He even threw in a back rub for me so naturally I had to return the favor with a back rub for him.  (Back rubs are the currency of the Koch house.  If you want something, throw in a back rub and it's as good as your's).  Bears also won this past weekend!  (Illinois did not. Wah!)  Dan and I even deep-cleaned our carpets this past week!  Talk about nesting!  I'll post pictures of Baby Koch's almost-finished nursery as soon as I can.

Miss Anything? Sleeping well.  I miss that most of all.  I also miss walking without having to waddle.  Penguins ain't got nothing on me!

Movement: Holy body rolls!  LBK is doing the samba in there.  I just know it!  He's telling me there's no more room in my belly and he wants out so he can finally stretch.

Food cravings:  I'm not hungry anymore.  The only thing I want to eat (drink really) is milk.  I watch the Food Network and the Cooking Channel and salivate over everything but have no ambition to actually cook anything (which is really really really weird for me).  

Anything making you queasy or sick:  Threw up this past week which little man kicked my stomach again.  Thanks son!  I really didn't want to digest my breakfast.  NOT!  I'm eating for you, son, so mind yourself and stop kicking my stomach while I'm trying to digest.  In the words of Gloria on Modern Family, "I'm busy converting food into a baby".  Well I can't convert food into a baby when you make me throw up.  Let's get it together and rally these next few days.  Got it?

Have you started to show yet:  My fall jacket doesn't fit anymore.  Lucky for me, it's got a dual zipper thing that lets you unzip the bottom part of it which is perfect for my expanding belly.  It's just tough zipping it over it to begin with in order to unzip the bottom.  Maybe I should just stay inside and not have to worry about wearing a jacket.

Gender: Still a boy!

Labor Signs: Nope.  Doc said she might entertain stripping my membranes (sounds painful!) at our next visit to give me a 50% chance of starting labor in 48 hours of it but we'll see how I feel about that come visit time.

Symptoms: LOWER BACK PAIN!  HEAD IN MY PELVIS!  But good news is that at my last appointment, doctor said I was 1cm dilated and 50% effaced.  For those of you who don't know what that means, let's just say that you need to be 10cm dilated and 100% effaced for things to happen.  Baby K's head is also super low in my pelvis, doc said....which is really good!  She was actually really surprised how low he was and just kept repeating that this was good news.  She said, "whatever you're doing, keep doing it.  It's looking good for you."  Ummm...I don't know what I'm doing, but I'll take the compliment. Good job Jackie.  Way to go!

With me feeling more and more like a sausage each day, I believe that it is now my duty to inform everyone of the symptoms pregnancy that "they" don't tell you about.  (Not all have happened to me at all or yet but I'm told that many of these are very very very common among pregnant ladies.  Enjoy...if I don't scare you from having children) (Part of this list is taken from http://pregnant.thebump.com/pregnancy/pregnancy-symptoms/articles/things-no-one-warned-you-about-pregnancy.aspx)

1. You lose a lot of your dignity when you become pregnant.  Get used to having people ask about your business, impart their own opinions about your business, and more.  If you're not already used to spreading your legs for your gyno, get used to it now.  You're going to be very close friends with this person so my advice is get to know them...and fast.  The better you get to know them, the more dignity you will keep...but you won't be retaining much.  You need to get comfortable with people around you seeing your body (all parts of it) because from now on, nothing is private.  I'm told when you deliver that whatever shreds of dignity you have left, is gone forever.  Just great!
2. Fantastic hair and nail growth!  My hair has never looked and felt better.  My nails are the strongest and longest they've ever been!  Thank you prenatal vitamins.
3. Keep those tweezers out ladies, you can thank your hormones if you start growing a beard.  The occasional chinny-chin-chin hairs that we tweeze are things of the past.  You'll be needing your tweezers everyday to get rid of the mess on your face.  Dan's razor never looked so appealing to me before in my life.  I haven't taken the plunge to do that yet, but I did get my face (not just eyebrows) threaded once because of this.  It hurt, so I'm just gonna stick with tweezing.  Gosh I'm a hairy mess.
4. Yeah for 9 months of no periods!  Right?  Wrong!  You thought that now that you're pregnant that you get out of wearing feminine hygiene products.  Well you were wrong.  Your body is now a mucus producing machine! Do yourself a favor and help save your cute undies by wearing panty liners every day.  This also comes in handy when you experience #5.
5. Your have a child sitting on your bladder.  This causes pressure on your bladder and you don't know this but you've also lost some other controls on your body.  All it takes is an accidental sneeze for you to think, "Holy Crap!  Did I just...?  O yeah, I did.  Crap!"  Yepp...you just peed yourself.  Hopefully it wasn't that big and hopefully you took my advice and are wearing a panty liner or else you're gonna be pretty embarrassed.  It only takes one accidental sneeze for this lesson to be learned.
6. Your skin looks radiant!  Or your skin could be comparable to a 13-year-old girl going through puberty.  Either way, your skin will change.
7. Pooping will never be the same.  Do yourself a favor and the moment you find out you are pregnant, up your fiber and water intake about a million percent.  If you don't, you might die.  Well you probably won't die but there will be times that you think you might be dying.  Constipation is the WORST!!!  There is a child sitting on your intestines, creating a fantastic road block for all of your digestive system and he/she is only getting bigger.  Plus he/she is robbing you of much of your nutrition.  Your body's first priority is to feed your little nugget.  You are the one that gets the leftovers.  Hopefully those leftovers include fiber and liquid because if it doesn't, your getting the butt end of the deal.  Many pregnant women have to go on stool softeners, take fiber pills, or even take (doctor-directed of course) laxatives.  Let me repeat, Constipation is the WORST!  Many times it'll turn into hemorrhoids.  Don't let that happen.  Get on top of that stuff right away or taking a good BM will become a distant memory.
8. To go along with that area of the body, you will notice an increase of your flatulence.  The good news is that if you're like me, just blame it on the baby.  "That wasn't me, it was the baby."  Who is going to question you?  Certainly not your significant other.  They probably are still under the illusion that girls don't poop or fart.  Just tell them that the baby is strong and is pushing out gas.  Crazy!  That's one strong baby you have.  But yeah....unfortunately, you are going to become a gas producing machine.
9. Along with more gas down there, you will be producing gas up there.  There's no way to hide the fact that you are going to turn into a burping machine.  Again, blame it on the kid if you want.  When you lie down in bed, gas will start to move its way up and end up coming out of your mouth whether you planned it or not.  Sometimes they are cute little burp'ettes and other times you will full on belch.  Either way, don't act surprised when you burp...because you will....a lot.
10. Where did all your energy go?  No, really.  Where did it go?  The smallest tasks take soooo much more energy (or so it seems) and you'll practically die putting on your shoes.  I'm ready to call it a day after I eat breakfast and put my face on in the morning.  I feel like I need about 15 naps but I still won't feel rested.
11. Your body is going to be changing.  As if you don't already know that.  For some ladies, this means finally getting the rack of their dreams.  For others, it means clown-sized boobs that hurt.  Your upper body won't be the only thing getting bigger, so will your lower body.  And guess what?!  It's gonna change colors too!  For more details about that, read up about what happens when your body produces and uses lots of extra blood.
12. Your sleep schedule gets super messed up.  I already mentioned that you're going to want to sleep all the time but this doesn't mean that your body will actually let you get good sleep.  As your belly expands, your ability to get comfortable while trying to sleep decreases.  Once you get far enough along, you will not be able to sleep well at all.  I think it's God's way of preparing you for the insomnia that is to come when your baby gets here.
13. Along with your body producing lots of mucus, you might get random nose bleeds!  Your nostrils and all the stuff inside of it are working overtime which means that your nose might bleed at inconvenient times.  Also, your gums become extra sensitive and you might get to be a recipient of the "pink toothbrush".  Flossing is still a good idea for all people (for those who actually remember to floss, sorry dentists but its true) but it might scare you when you floss and see your gums start bleeding.  Eh...it happens.
14. Sweating!  Gross!  I'm not one who usually breaks a sweat easily but the hormones that come along with pregnancy make you sweat!  Think about it.  Your body is moving 1.5x the normal amount of blood you have throughout your body, you're converting food into a child, and you have extra weight you're carrying around.  Your body is working hard whether you know it or not.  That means you're going to sweat...a lot!  Day sweats are fine in my opinion but night sweats are the worst!  You're trying to sleep but then have to wake up because you broke out in a tremendous sweat and now you're disgusting because you're dripping with it.  Ewwww!  And all you did was sleep.  So pack on the deodorant and perfume because you don't want to be the sweaty and smelly pregnant lady.
15. Your body will look like a road map!  Whether it's stretch marks or veins, you are going to need a Garmin to navigate the marks on your body.  I've been lucky enough not to get stretch marks but I'm pale enough (almost translucent.  saddness) for people to see every vein in my body.  Well as your stomach grows and stretches, you'll get to see all the wonderful veins that connect your body parts to each other.  Your veins seems to get bigger too.  Like I said earlier, your body is producing and transporting a huge amount of blood (more than normal) throughout your body so that means you get the pleasure of seeing God's work...on your stomach and your boobs.
16. O yeah, your body is preparing itself to make milk...which will make you feel like a dairy cow if you spend too much time thinking about it.  Your beautiful boobs will turn into milk producing machines and you'll get to see that through the wonderful amount of veins present in your ladies.  Also, they will leak.  They might start leaking before your kid comes (apologies if that happens) but they will definitely leak after the kid comes too.  If that doesn't make you feel super attractive, I don't know what else will.  Leaky boobs.  Make sure to wear your nursing pads!  Also, your nipples change.  Just like your lady bits downstairs, your nipples will grow.  And you won't feel attractive.  The breast-feeding clinic ladies told me that it's God's way of creating a bullseye for your little one to nurse because they have such bad eyesight when born.  Whatever the reason, the fact is that they will grow and change and you probably won't like it.
17. Maternity clothes!  I hate the idea of wearing clothes that are designated for "maternity" use.  It's just a ploy to allow women to wear socially acceptable forms of "Mom" clothing...and not the cute mom clothing.  It's worse when you're already an awkward body type (i.e. Tall) and now have to try and fit into expanding body and awkward clothes.  Don't get me wrong, they make some maternity clothes that are super cute, practical, and comfortable now.  Thank you for that.  But that still doesn't end the stigma I have of wearing "maternity clothes".    I'll let everyone be their own judge of the maternity clothes controversy.  (As much as I hate them, I do see the glory in my maternity jeans and have full intentions to bring them out at Thanksgiving dinners in years to come)

O there's a lot more, but I thought that 17 sounds good for now.  If you want to know more, let me know and I won't hold back on any of the information I have at hand.  Sorry if I scared some of you from ever becoming pregnant.  I'm told that your forget about all these symptoms once you get to hold your kid and immediately want to go through it again.  As much as parts of my pregnancy have sucked, I wouldn't change it for anything.  I'm just way too excited to get to hold my little guy and am counting down the hours (figure of speech, I can't count down the hours when I don't know when he's getting here) until he gets here.  I'm just amazed at how God uses my body as a vessel to create such an amazingly perfect human.  Pregnancy just amazes me and every part of it just turns me more and more to see God's glory in all things.  Just wow!

Belly Button in or out? In.  Barely...

Wedding rings on or off? On.

Happy or Moody most of the time:  Happy.  More than that, I'm just excited and anxious.  Little man can get here any second now and I have no idea when that will be.  I'm on pins and needles just waiting for those signs so we can jump in the car to go get him.  We're "ready" for him...just need our little guy here so I can start putting him in adorable outfits, putting those diapers and wipes to work (not excited about that, just that I finally get to use them), reading him books, and playing with him.  (And showing him off to the world because he's going to be the most adorable baby ever...obviously)

Looking forward to: HIM!  I want to meet him so bad!

Anything Else?: Since Halloween is over, can I start decorating for Christmas yet?  Yeah, I'm going to be that mom.